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well it's week end and full of tractors and sun shine down on me
boy
do i love attention. i must sound like a great guy. i am a good friend.
what
a lanky fuck.
i
am spin honest, content. Content: crafted, fabrication here's where girls
can I you never touch fell
across
america [arrest this man he talks too much it buzzes like a]
editing
myself. you cant keep this up for long, dude, constant, connection, stop
me
if you've heard this one, self in dull gent [side ways glance],
capable
of love, never really needing anyone. Think In Gesture.
why
am i tempted not to reveal my cards.
the
way your hair falls is fucking amazing.
straight
sequenced word oppression has fooled you caught you share information?
right.
i'm
pushing at you. i can create me. INDULGE THIS.
here,
honey, try
to
understand how i've fooled myself, here's what
i
did today, the straight Phonetic:
Eye
a whoa can dye rows form I mourn ink up owe tee .
Mire
room eight tad two were curly two day.
Here
eat urn DAT won oak lock.
Wheat
hook thief horde too gets um think force upper.
Hour
bean sander ice word eel lush us.
Eye
too cough you faux tog raft sat Tut rack tour fare.
Wee
Yates um din err aft tear cum Ming ohm.
damn
thats never non-struggling for me English headstrong, even so it takes
hours what must Joyce have fought through. I'm willing to give it all Hun
dread puse scent if necessary but how the fuck to people get these opportunities.
I don't want to close doors. Only stopping to moving for the right
reasons. And already there are parts of me, of ME, that i consider to be
My Thang, that are slipping away. I'm not scared, but i dont want to
Forget, because when you forget you become actually Old, incapable of
learning, driven by safety and comfort, not by madness and vigor. I'm not
afraid, i've made that clear to me, but if Simultaneity don't stand i will
lose the past and future as they wait in this present moment and become
trapped in that day job career and always regret that i didnt grab her in
the ass. I CAN FEEL THAT WINDOW SLIPPING SHUT.
I
do this every so often.
The
firmness of your lips makes me laugh when I'm dozing.
Let
me paraphrase by sharing with you the entire body of an email I sent 14
months ago to a girl in Boston who I never met, exactly as I typed it. I
think we got in touch through a Hotmail classified ad, and we kept an
email relationship going for a couple of weeks during December. As you
read it, you'll see that my words flow heavy with a kind of energetic
confidence, an honest interest in getting to know someone better, and a
real lust for sharing myself. It's a fearlessness. I've never been hurt
badly. But my point is, I can feel that energy SLIPPING away, ever so
slowly. If the maturing of my body and the external world leads me to
abandon the part of me that wrote this email, that IS like this email,
then that's okay. But its not learning that's leading me. I just don't
want to forget. Then was and is as real as now. Its all here, NOW.
enough.
i'm just trying these thoughts on for angle. Here:
well
I apologize for having not writen
in so long. I was home in Plymouth for a full week enjoying
family and giving thanks. Luckily no american
indian protests
gave my little town trouble. I spent the week recording some songs
and
watching a bunch of
movies and not doing any homework. it was a week
simultaneously busy and lazy. I dont really have a bedroom back in
my old
house so it was strange
to just hang out there for a whole week. I went bowling on saturday
night, which was fun but the fun doubled when the lights and the dj came
on
and the shit
hit flashing rolling musical
with laughter and pins falling and gloria gaynor to metallica. damn.
and i
bowled
well, with my family and a couple of freinds.
thank you for telling me about your
interest in and your
experiences
with animals I particularly enjoyed hearing about your
"undercover" internship. It sounds like you are actually
out in the world
doing good for something you really care about
I smiled out loud
when you mentioned you were exhausted due to
driving 10 cats to another shelter. Where is the MsPcA
shelter
@ boston? I've never seen it. Its funny, my mother
always claimed that
she was allergic to animal fur [escept she was actually lying, she's just
afraid of pets] so as a result I grew up without ever having a pet.
I
encounter pets of friends and sometimes feel a very strong connection to
certain furry rascals but I have never had a longstanding
bond with a dog or a cat like some of my friends. Lookung back,
that's sort
of dissapointing
but i turned out ok. i think.
yesterday i arrived back in the city and proceeded out on a six hour bike
ride
with my friend and roomate Dan through everywhere from Cambridge to
deep
brookline
to the Boston Common so nice a climate and experience for
December 1st. And today i rode to class something about biking in
traffic
listening to powerful music
gets me going in the morning.
everywhere we went
last night, we kept encountering
overwhelming, Gattica-esque urban concrete landscapes [i said it before
and
ill say it again
"we're living in the future".
] Boy, do i love cement, brick, and asphalt. It's good to ride
on smooth
surfaces, at least, but
I never last long in the city without missing the forests and fields of
home.
I do find that I am content most anywhere, though. With a little
imagination you can find the good qualities in anywhere or anyone or any
kind of music. Imagination lets you see things from a new
perspective, and
it is the assimilation of mulitiple perspectives that makes people
smarter.
I never was good at learning facts. What the hell am i typing about
So you are interested in returning to school for marine
biology. What a
great realm of science... but why do you want to study it? I guess I
mean
to ask what you want to do with such a degree... My father works in
Bio-physics here in boston; he studies cells under electron microscopes.
I
was always convinced I wanted to study science as a kid, and not Until mid
highscool did I start to think otherwise. How I ended up in English
is a
bit of a mystery I chose it I belive becuase it's the most Open and
Human
field that i can find.
I have also been wondering where in this city you live.
I am way out at
the end of the C line, in Boston College land (that's why I spend at least
4
hours a day watching football and drinking Bud Ice) so I take the train or
ride my bicycle frequently. I consider myself a walker, though,
first and
foremost. I am not sure how well you know this city, but I recommend
walking down newbury street on
a capitalism frought saturday
listening to OK Computer and
eating smarties or a Mocha Valencia
from one of
our fair city's 30 conveniently located starbucks. that's what
i did for the entire months of march
april and may of this year. And I dont regret it.
well i would love to hear more about you since I dont know much at all
though i know you are not the type to bleed out everything through text.
And i aint either it would be nice
to meet you since my fingers suffer from this
have a good evening
Ryan
it's funny, the way i composed that email. I
don't think I would write like that again.
and
to be honest, i'm not sure what that means. but you see, about words?
Your
dress is sinful. I can't help myself.
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