I think I'm finally feeling comfortable
living at home, doing what I'm doing. I have not been consistently
comfortable during the past 8 months. That isn't to say that I haven't
enjoyed what I have been doing. The problem is that I too often question
the value of my endeavors, particularly when they don't line up with my
expectations or the expectations of friends.
More importantly, there has been a small clear voice chiming in the back of my head throughout the past eight months, suggesting that if I'm going to remain involved with personal publishing on the web, I had better turn it up a notch. I like to get attention. All through college, I fantasized about finding a structure that would drive me to keep creating things, writing, painting, music, photo, larger projects.. This became that. If I didn't have an audience for my photography and inner thoughts and simple observations, I wouldn't work so hard to improve or clarify them. How dandy. It's truly empowering to share, to be connected.
However, I'd like do do more than just
spout a little something from time to time.
i remembered recently that at heart, i'm
an actor before all else.
but really, all of these interests of
mine, things I do, are
you know, I very rarely make decisions.