Thankfulness List

» November 23, 2004 10:25 AM by Nicole

One minute I’m trick-or-treating and then WHAM! BOINK! BLAMMO! It’s Christmas. Or Chanukah for Jewish Persons or ChakaKhan for Jewish Persons who think, “I’m every woman...it’s all in me.”

The holidays have exploded all over every Rite Aid and CVS in the hood. This year, they didn’t even wait until Halloween. The mounds and buckets and piles of holly jolly clutter were strewn about the stores on FREAKIN’ OCTOBER 10TH!!!

Several folks have mentioned that 2004 was a less than joyous year. The war. The election. The break-up of Rebecca Romijn and John Stamos. All those injustices were totally bummer.

But this Thursday is Thanksgiving. The cherished day when we all participate in a gluttonous 25,000 calorie gorge fest with our friends and say what we are thankful for. Despite all the bunk, there were some gems in 2004. Let’s remember what we loved about this year. Before you say something lame like, “I’m so thankful for my family and friends...” check out my Thankfulness List and feel free to steal any of these beauties:

1. I am thankful for Johnny Damon’s hair. It is a magical mane of victory. The flowing, overgrown mop of destiny that dances in the wind when he's at bat. What a thing of beauty! It obviously had an impact on our beloved Red Sox. And even when Johnny was in his slump, his hair NEVER QUIT. His hair fought on and it was his hair that hit the grand slam. Heavenly.

2. I am thankful that my husband understands my crush on Johnny Damon.

3. I am thankful that the Atkins craze is finally fizzling. Did you really think a diet of steak and steak with steak was going to be healthy? Pass the potatoes, damn you!

4. I am thankful that I live in one of the ‘blue states.' I have access to better media, award winning newspapers, and independent radio. Of course that also means that I am more informed...which means I know what is actually going on...which makes me depressed...but not ignorant, and therefore thankful.

5. I am thankful that music seems to be abandoning the poopy poppy Britney-Christina-Jessica-Ashley phase. (I left Justin out because that album was good. There. I said it. Dude, Timbaland was involved. You can’t hate it if it makes you wanna shake your groove thang regardless of how punk rawk you are.) I like that people are starting to gravitate towards bands like Modest Mouse, The Shins, The Killers, The White Stripes, The Flaming Lips, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Hives, Interpol and The Distillers.

6. I am thankful that I knew about Modest Mouse, The Shins, The Killers, The White Stripes, The Flaming Lips, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Hives, Interpol and The Distillers before any of you posers.

7. I am thankful that Creed broke up.

8. I am thankful for SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS the movie. It’s nice to know that:
a.) Tom Kenny keeps working.
b.) David Hasselhoff keeps working
c.) in the midst of epic films like Alexander, you can see a film about a loveable little sponge living in a pineapple under the sea.

9. I am thankful for the almighty interweb. The information super funway has helped me connect with people I thought were dead of drug overdoses. Turns out they are alive AND, like everyone else in the universe, they have a blog! “The Net” also gave me this great Friendster testimonial from Will Alison:

Nicole is brilliant, and unfailingly
humble about it. I haven't seen her in
years, and it pisses me off a little
bit every day. So you can imagine how
bitter that makes me, but take a step
further, and imagine how someone as
brilliant as Nicole could take that
bitterness from my heart, catch it
before it hits the ground, wrap it up,
hold it close to her chest, warm it,
give it a single, aching goodbye kiss,
unwrap it, and let it fly away, a newly
born eagle. Have I made my point?

I have no idea what he's talking about, but I sound like a mythic creature who turns bitterness into eaglets. I am rad!

10. I am thankful for my family and friends. I had to say it because it's true. My parents are amazing. My in-laws are incredible. My brothers are way cool. My sister kicks major ass and she’s marrying a great guy. My husband refuses to stop loving me no matter how goofy or annoying I am. Life is good. Happy Thanksgiving. Now gimmie another cup of nog.