Nicolisms – Words I Have Made Up

» July 8, 2004 11:28 AM by Nicole

Homer Simpson does it. I may have been influenced. Admittedly, I’ve been a devout viewer for 15 years.

A friend of mine has a theory that someday we’ll all speak in “Simpsonian,” constantly saying phrases like, “I’ll get those murderous trolls,” or “Can’t sleep, clown will eat me,” or “Do I know what rhetorical means?” Listen to your peers. It’s already happening in your everyday talky-chatty casual conversation.

Here’s some junk and things and stuff I say:
(You might think I’m just one of the 40 million function illiterates in this country. To that I say, “Yeah, functionally illiterate LIKE A FOX!”)

Berail – a combination of berate and running someone out on a rail.
Example: There’s no need to berail me over hollow pop music. I have nothing to do with Hoobastank.

Hoo Fa Fa – Just like a Bru Ha Ha, which is a loud and rambunctious event or happening. Except a Hoo Fa Fa usually involves someone who is acting so “Elizabeth Taylor.”

Elizabeth Taylor – a descriptive way of saying someone has had enough barbiturates and champagne to start stumbling around and yelling at people as though they are in an Albee play.

Finagle a Bagel – Technically a chain of bagel cafes found in Massachusetts, but I’ve started this annoying habit of saying this whenever I’m trying to get something from someone
Example: I’m going to finagle a bagel and try to steal that ‘Meet the Feebles’ DVD from Molly.

Obtainable – I mean to say attainable. Hell, they mean the same thing.

Eg least – Instead of saying, “At least.” This is just sloppy speech, but I’ve heard other people do it, too. Maybe WE’RE right and YOU’RE wrong! Eg least I've never mispronounced nuclear.

Percise – Instead of precise. This makes me chuckle for PERcisely the reason you’d think.

Ellaphone! – an elephant telephone. It wails like a mastadon for a ring tone! You talk into the trunk! Think about it! It’s brilliant!

Vanilla Folders – I know they’re MANILLA folders. But they ARE the color of vanilla ice cream. This description is cuter. Don’t you think?