this is how my year begun: walking into a big, empty room with material girl blaring on cue and downing a couple shots of sake before the party arrived. as per my family tradition, i wore a green polka-dotted ribbon around my wrist and made 12 wishes before midnight, all in hopes of good luck, but the month of january has brought just the opposite.

a cough that refuses to leave, a freaky mishap with the next-door neighbor, a leak in the living room ceiling, a bank account that has been drained dry, a heart that has been left wondering. but i will not let it get me down. i refuse to let it.

beginnings and endings are arbitrary, anyway. years, months, weeks begin and end. hours, minutes and seconds do, too. but at any single moment we can say enough is enough, we can say let's start over.

so: enough is enough. i'm starting over.

i am looking forward to new experiences, relationships, sights and sounds, as well. i'm looking forward to seeing you, too.

beginnings are scary, but it's just because we don't know what's around the bend. for you, there are many bends, many roads, many stops on the way from there to here. me, i'm still discovering things around the corner from my own house. i know that whether good or bad, happy or sad, what meets us both will make our lives that much richer and fuller, and at the very least, it will always make a good story.

drive safely, rest often and enjoy yourself, ryan. i'll see you soon.

and thus wrote christine on 1/23/2002. +

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hello, dear. i've managed to break through the one month barrier for response time. i'm sure we could get our turn around time down to a week or several days if we wanted. ; )

and we might, because we have a lot to talk about. i'm moving to los angeles, california, to live in sherman oaks with my good friends andrew and joshua. i will officially be living in your neck of the woods. they've got plenty of room for me, and i know the three of us are excited to spend some serious time together. they've promised me that once I arrive, we're going to start a small bowling league. and i suppose we'll drink white russians. you're welcome to join us, of course.

i'm planning to load everything i own into my 1979 ford granada and drive myself out west, stopping along the way to visit friends I have in new york, new jersey, illinois, texas, and phoenix. i'm pretty confident that my car can handle the drive to california again. i'm so excited to try something new, but it is a little scary to be leaving my hometown behind. plymouth, MA, is the antithesis of LA; it's hundreds of years old, compact, covered with snow and full of people i recognize. i'm not thrilled about car culture, but i'll be closer to so many friends that i haven't seen much. i'm hoping to find teaching oppurtunites, to explore new kinds of work.

i'm not sure when i'll be heading out, exactly... sometime during the next month, i'm sure. in the meantime i'm spending my days working, trying to keep warm, keep my life in order, and earn some money. for me, 2001 was a wonderful year full of new experiences, trips to new places, i've never been, new kinds of employment, and new relationships. and despite my wonderful christmas holiday, it all ended on a strange note, a vague note. more than anything, i need to keep learning how to plow on through uncertainty when it arises. it's a new year, and there are so many things that i want to do, that i'm not afraid to try.

i love beginnings.

and thus wrote ryan on 1/20/2002. +

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