has it been a month already? i don't know how i let things slip. i'm hoping that one day i'll live life leisurely, with plenty of time to keep in touch with everyone. i'll have even more time to do the types of things you mentioned. Laundry and television, and more reading. strangely, the truth is that i need to have my life stuffed with tasks and plans and self-enforced deadlines and friendships in order to feel productive when the day is through. i live for that feeling. it sometimes bothers me that i have such a strong desire to keep moving.
i've just closed the door on five months working as a cook. what a whirlwind of new experience. last week, among homeward bound friends and turkey dinner, i found myself house-sitting again, at my favorite house in the country. pets, trampoline, fireplace and all. in january, i'm officially moving to houston to be closer to the girl, and i can't wait. tonight i'm hopping icelandair for a completely spontaneous four-day trip with friends to amsterdam. it's a great surprise. first, (in only four hours), i get to work a full day outside in the open air. next week at this time i'll be flying down to houston, for a short visit and to hunt for jobs. it'll be my birthday soon.
and i've got christmas shopping on the brain. i write, i sip, i snap photos. it gets my heart racing, all of this activity crammed into a mere six weeks. now that my brother is home from school, i'm hoping he'll help me remain stress-free.
i've been living at home for a long time, cooking dinner for everyone, doubling over in laughter with my sister, typing late at night with the calming knowledge that people are sleeping elsewhere in the house. i'm both excited and nervous to end this period of my life and begin something new, whatever it may be, with my own apartment to decorate.
like you said. all it takes is a few spacious moments scattered here and there, for looking forward and backward, or for quiet breathing. perhaps i'll find a few on the plane tomorrow.
and thus wrote ryan on 11/27/2001. +
