Itching For Change

posted 12 Dec 2005, 8PM | 1 Comments

You try to do something nice for the children and families of this community, and what do you get? Itchy ankles, my friend. HORRIBLE, ITCHY ANKLES.

Two weeks ago I told myself, "Self, it's high time to rescue the sidewalk from all them branches and leaves." 200 feet of sidewalk consumed by years of neglect. Kids walking in the street. Pine needles everywhere. Mass hysteria. So I rallied up some rakes and clippers and spent the last wek of November fighting mother nature in the name of civilization and truth and all that is good and right. I sliced back the brush, dug out the turf. I did a good thing. And for some reason did it I wearing neither sandals nor gloves.

Apparently half of that turf was poison ivy or sumac or something. I'm a good boy scout and everything, but I didn't see no leaflets three. All was cool until four days marching around NYC this past weekend rubbed bubbling oils all up and down every inch of my foots. Flaming feet on the Fung Wah bus. DON'T ITCH DON'T TOUCH THEM PINK ELEPHANTS ITCHY ELEPHANTS.

Well, at least it's not on my face anymore. The Phantom de L'Ivy has left the building.

There are 1 Comments


12 Dec 05 at 09:53AM Ralbert said:

You did a good and dangerous task. The world is indeed a better place for your efforts. Now I'll have to find some place else to grow the stealth micro dwarf poison oak ...

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