Home Stretch, Sad

posted 25 Jul 2005, 12PM | 4 Comments

What an uncharacteristically odd mix of emotions last night. On Friday Jenny and I ran a Uhaul load of stuff to Santa Barbara. I stayed through the weekend (hiding out reading The Half-Blood Prince during her sister's estrogen-heavy baby shower) and returned to L.A. alone on Sunday, looking ahead toward three more days at USC; three more nights cleaning our apartment, shipping our belongings; three days away from my fianc´┐Ż.

I spent the afternoon with Andrew, eating and gaming through goodbyes, and at dusk I returned alone to my dusty apartment and cleaned up a bit, drinking lots of green tea, eating almost nothing.

Then, 3:30am: I couldn't sleep, having just finished the Harry Potter book, futon on the floor, trash everywhere, filled with an uncomfortable sadness, hot and hungry, thinking about saying goodbye to my home, to Nicole and Jakob, thinking about our journey back east, Dumbledore and dust, Jenny and Jade and Ginny all twisted together, laying alone, knowing what needs to come next, letting go of what stays behind. Books unwritten, coming of age, fact and fantasy, missing my girl.

A childish moment too beautifully adult for my own head. I'm not out of it yet.

I see, now, that I will miss this place.

There are 4 Comments


2 Aug 05 at 08:59AM Dave said:

only until you realize that the Corner Pocket Pub, in North Plymouth OPENLY flaunts Massachusetts' no-smoking law. And dollar Pabst.


3 Aug 05 at 07:58AM jonas said:

dollar pabst? fuck switzerland. i'm moving home.


4 Aug 05 at 10:20AM ari said:

this brought back a lot of memories. thanks. no, really.


5 Feb 06 at 08:26AM draped said:

Comments are now closed for this entry. May spammers burn in firey brimstone.

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