The Tears of a Clown

posted 23 Feb 2005, 9PM | 7 Comments

This entry contains a bulleted list of things that have made me cry on at least one occasssion. This list is not complete. As such, the absence of any item from this list does not necessarily mean that the item in question isn't capable of making me cry. Also, things that have made me cry may be missing from the list. Nothing on this list has been included as a joke.

  • Let Down, by Radiohead.
  • The final moment of Traffic, where Benicio Del Toro sits calmly watching neighborhood kids play baseball in the park he paid for using drug money.
  • Biting into a Fig Newton bar. I hadn't eaten a Fig Newton in ages when I brought some to work in my lunchbox last fall. Best I could figure, the smell triggered some sort of memory-sadness, probably related to lonely cafeteria days in early elementary school. It came on strongly and out of nowhere.
  • Sling Blade.
  • My dad.
  • The fourth track from the second Sigur Ros album, ( ), as I flew home from Austin, thinking about my recent breakup.
  • Bobby Flahrety.
  • The final scene of The Santa Claus, starring Tim Allen, when Judge Reinhold gets his whistle.
  • Music by Ani DiFranco
  • In 3rd or 4th grade I asked for Twirl-O-Paint for Christmas. My parents gave me a small box containing a Twirl-O-Paint refill set, but not the actual plastic machine that spins your paper. I slowly started to tear up, not because I didn't get what I wanted, but because I could see that they thought they'd dissappointed me and felt bad. I knew they'd made a simple mistake, and I cried All at once, I became aware of empathy.
  • The Crappy Birthday
  • My parents walking away, leaving me for a week of Cub Scout camp during the summer before 5th grade. I chased after them.
  • Girls.
  • The House of Sand and Fog (Oh, man.)
  • Keisha Castle-Hughes's performance in Whale Rider
  • Hourglass, a song by At the Drive-In
  • Falling down.
  • A younger cousin's balloon popping against a hot car outside of Chuck E. Cheese in Hyannis, even though the balloon wasn't mine and the little cousin didn't care. (see also Twirl-O-Paint, above)
  • Breaking my arm
  • Half a World Away, by R.E.M.
  • Pain.
  • Laughter.
  • Helplessness, as a bully named Mark Griffin was beating up on my friend Erik.
  • Nearly every Cure album.
  • The thoughts and actions of a fictional character I created in a novel I was mentally composing in college.
  • Music on the subway
  • Getting suspended for lighting a match whithin the hall of my middle school.
  • Listening to Endless Summer Nights by Richard Marx in my dark bedroom on the final summer night before the start of 5th grade.
  • Fear that my mom wouldn't call and renew her pledge to WGBH in time to get a Big Bird umbrella.
  • My own mistakes.
  • Bruce's suprise decision to send Ben home to his daughter and blow up the asteroid himself.

There are 7 Comments


24 Feb 05 at 07:06AM Bonnie said:

My roommates will never let me live down the time we watched Whale Rider and I started crying about 12 and a half minutes into the film and did not stop until an hour after it was over.

Adulthood has somehow turned me into a big movie-crier in general, but that little girl KILLED me.

Welcome back to the internets, Rye. It looks beautimous.


24 Feb 05 at 11:42AM Shaun said:

Pet Sounds?


24 Feb 05 at 11:48AM sixfoot6 said:

Yes, more than once, I think.


24 Feb 05 at 02:23PM Kate said:

What a great idea, Ry. An interesting excuse to delve into the dark (or maybe just not so bright) corners of your psyche. Gives me ideas...


27 Feb 05 at 06:48PM sixfoot6 said:

You know what I forgot? Spiderman 2.


28 Feb 05 at 03:02PM Steve-O said:

Ryan...Mark Griffin...a bully? Have you seen him lately? Mark is about 5'3" and scrawnier than Screech. Dude, you've always been larger than the Jolly Green Giant (at least in my eyes)why couldn't you step it up, fight for justice, and beat up the Keebler Elf?


28 Feb 05 at 03:13PM sixfoot6 said:

Hey man, I was a scared little kid. I didn't beat up anything. I prefered to fight for justice in the comfort of my own home.

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