Don't Act Like You Don't Know It.

posted 1 Apr 2003, 8AM | 13 Comments

It's almost Easter-time, girl. Don't act like you don't know it. And you aint called, girl... in like four weeks. I was in the bathroom this morning, shaving my beautiful, chiseled face, thinking about different ways to gel my hair, praying to Jesus. How could you, girl?

I mean, what's the deal? You don't have to say what you did. I already know. I found out from Him. You gave me up for Lent, girl, and that aint cool. But now it's your turn to cry. You should have picked honesty... then you may not have blown it.

Now, I'm chillin' poolside, massaging my pecs, and what's that? A ring ring on my celly. "I really gave up chocolate for Lent," you lie. "I been busy. I miss you. Sucky sucky, wah wah wah." Now you tell me you need me when you call me on the phone? Girl, I found out from Him. You aint called me since Ash Wednesday, 'cuz you gave me up for Lent.

The damage is done, so I guess I'll be leaving. There's a whole line of ladies in this town waiting to get Pantsed, girl. I'll be hookin' it up by Good Friday. Oh and by the way - I've been doing your sister since Columbus Day. She's hot like you, but without the lisp. Don't it make you sad about it? Cry me a river, biatch.

There are 13 Comments


1 Apr 03 at 10:22AM manda said:

you should really warn people that they're gonna need a change of pants before letting them click on the 'may not have blown it' link.


1 Apr 03 at 12:54PM Dan said:

Seriously, this is one of the best posts ever. I knew y'all were livin large down in the LA but I had no idea. I was havin such a pissy day too, nice of you to change that.


1 Apr 03 at 04:36PM mathowie said:

The remixed JT looks a little bit like that elf thing from the last Harry Potter movie. I expected to mouse over it and hear "Dobby gots to get fonky!"


1 Apr 03 at 11:36PM Adam said:

Honestly, that banner scared the shit out of me. I will not be able to sleep tonight. ;)


2 Apr 03 at 03:14AM Magic Johnson said:

Does our Lyrical Mastermind have any plans to beat this sweet song to a beat? Might I suggest something a bit more upbeat than 'Jesus At The Drive-In' but not quite as intense as 'My Vagina' (you wrote that one too, right?)


2 Apr 03 at 09:56AM ryan said:

i fixed the third link in this post, which apparently had been broken all day...


3 Apr 03 at 09:57AM karen said:

Please tell me you're going to redesign soon...that picture is just wrong. *shudder*


3 Apr 03 at 11:09AM ryan said:

wait... i thought we all agreed that this design should stay up for the rest of the year?


3 Apr 03 at 12:43PM katia said:

y'know, I have heard that Mr. Timberlake is highly regarded by the hip-hop community; they say he's got allot of soul. Maybe he should stay up to show some reverence...
I'm a bit confused by the 2 places for current posting. I'm just not sure which one is the right one. I posted to the post less posted to, but I don't know if it's made any difference.


3 Apr 03 at 02:20PM ryan said:

two comment threads diverged on a site, katia, and you--you chose the one less posted to. and that has made all the difference.


4 Apr 03 at 08:03AM jeremy said:

i love this design. and i love you, ryan D. pants, YOU!

this is so funny i think i gave meself an embolism.


4 Apr 03 at 10:25AM ryan said:

thanks, jeremy! i know i'm just too sexy for you, my muscular friend.


17 Apr 06 at 10:56PM Maxell said:

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