February 6th, 2000 at 7:21 PM

today

theres just something about sunday that always feels like sunday, the way i instinctively reach for a newspaper, a way of pausing and watching. i hope that the day of rest remains unchanged for a long, long time.

Joshua grabbed a large cardboard box, and into the box we loaded a bin of salad, a large steak wrapped in foil, plates, charcoal, forks, salad dressing, baked beans, and some of my potato salad.

We bought beer at 7-Eleven.

Sahauro park, located down the street was designed to accommodate large quantities of people dancing, playing, sitting, biking, kissing, partying, drinking, grilling, exercising, eating, and laughing. A colossal structure built beside a picnic tabled patio provides enough giant metal grills (with chimneys) and smooth cement counter space to prepare food for 200 families. We lit up some coals, tossed on the steak, and proceeded to change our whole latitude. All around us folks were having a blast, swinging at piñatas with sticks and cooking up burgers. Action you want to jump into and get down and join and feel real, because watching aint good enough.

I had a whole bunch of stuff i wanted to say, 

            but now i cant remember anything. 

well, for one i almost forgot how much i love literature.

but after learning new stuff about Joyce last night i'm back.

             oh yes and

after a day spent with my best friend a congealment

the thing in my life that i regret most frequently is that i do not 

            get excited about the things Joshua gets excited about,

i see what he sees but not 

in the way he sees

            and i regret this because because

because it drives us apart. on so many 

subjects, our thoughts run perfectly parallel, but

            the loves and desires that drive us are

almost complete opposites. and it's killing me.

If I could cross over into his mind world I would for the sake of friendship (because me and my way of looking at the universe are pretty fuckin unimportant, really) but i dont even know how to begin.

Can you stand it? Even the people you know well spend their lives walking through a world that is completely different from the worldsystemrules you know and value and accept. Sure, there is overlap, and occasionally two people collide who stand almost in the exact same place, so close that they could be one person if they chose. I've only met one person who came so close, and I still believe that our legs are bound together for the whole length of this silly, three-legged race, even though we havent spoken in a long time