Intramural God

posted 31 Oct 2002, 1PM | 5 Comments

These Jesus Inspirational Sport Statues are simply hilarious. The description says it all:
Handpainted resin statues on a solid wood base are the perfect gift for every young Catholic athlete. These statues portray Jesus actively participating with boys and girls in a variety of sports. A wonderful way to reinforce Jesus "as friend" in everyday activities. Sizes vary from 4 3/4 to 6 1/2 inches.
If I were Jesus, I'd wear a football helmet, just to provide a strong example to the nice Caucasian boys. Be sure to check out pages two and three... the hockey statue is quite simply priceless.

There are 5 Comments

1

31 Oct 02 at 02:22PM alison said:

i saw those on conan o'brien the other night. they'd made their own jesus figurines like "jesus secretly playing computer solitaire at his desk" and "jesus cockfighting." funny.

2

31 Oct 02 at 02:24PM DAVE said:

Jesus Statue Captions, in order.

Page 1:
1. "That's it, Jimmy. Try sticking your butt out a little more. Use your hips. And keep your eye on the ball. You hear me? You look OVER THERE!"

2. In the second quarter, Jesus was just toying with the kids. He would only start flying in the second half. (alternately: "Oh! Oh! This is MY house. You gonna D up, little kids, or will the Savior have to take it to you, Philistines-style?"

3. Jesus' mom always cut the best oranges for halftime.

4. Jesus was always bragging, "What do I need a helmet for? I raised myself from the dead, for My Sakes"

Page 2:
5. "Why don't you girls get to know each other a little better?"

6. "Hey, Jimmy...why don't you go grab me a soda...I'll make sure Julie makes it to the back nine." (alternately: "That's it, ulie. Try sticking your butt out a little more. And let me help you with your magnetic belt.")

7. "I said, sweep the leg...you have a problem with that, Mr. Lawrence?" (No, sensei)

Please, someone else join me, to help me finish. It's TOO much fun for just me.

3

31 Oct 02 at 03:36PM Jenn said:

Ian had some interesting thoughts on the matter...

4

1 Nov 02 at 08:02AM Bobo said:

now i know what i'm gettin for a conformation present

5

2 Nov 02 at 08:25PM J. Dunn said:

With you always.

Seriously, the golf one is just wrong. He looks like one of those sleazeball midlife-crisis yuppies who are always volunteering to "help" winsome young girls with their golf swings. Also, as noted, Jesus is taunting the kids in the basketball one.

I want one of each.

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